when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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