You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
