Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
