you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize