You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize