He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
