his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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