I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
