So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
