glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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