I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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