TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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