I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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