Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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