At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im holly from the hills drunk
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
