based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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