I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She's the barista slut.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃ðŸ»ðŸŽ‰
We are so blessed
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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