I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We need a shit load of segways right now
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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