I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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