you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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