you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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