he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
