butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
