just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
