i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he shaved USA in his pubs
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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