I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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