"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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