He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
