Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My ass is underappreciated
Two words: blizzard sex
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize