her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
