people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
