thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize