you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
