Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
