i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize