honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
