i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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