I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
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he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
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I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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