Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just blew my weed a kiss
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
sex in a hospital.. check
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
