can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
