Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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