I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
