THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize