I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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