I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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