Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
