I can tuck mytits in my pants
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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