I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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