fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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