i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize