I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize