Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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