I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
