last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
