Is it because I queefed?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
