He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize