Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
