It's just like the Real World with babies
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
