Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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