it glows. i had to have it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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